firstname@apple.com

The last name starts with an “S” and ends with an “r”. Could it be phil@apple.com? I’m kidding. Phil Schiller wouldn’t take his time telling me about upcoming Apple products. If Schiller were to tell me anything, he would give me carefully worded hints laced with winks, cough and nods.

Anyway. Here’s a non-spoiler spoiler for Apple March 7th, 2012 event.

  • New iPad, which will carry a name that is too obvious. I can’t reveal it because I’m afraid that the name I was told might be a decoy name. To think of it, it’s definitely a decoy name.
  • iOS 5.1 GM will be made available. General release follows in the following week the same day.
  • Non iPhone/iPod touch/iPad iOS device.
  • Unicorn tears in a vial.

I’m pretty sure one of them is a phony product to catch the source of the leaks.

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